So, you may have already seen, but the poster children of celebrity nepotism, Willow and Jaden Smith (Will Smith's kids), gave a highly philosophical completely un-ironic interview to the New York Times that was published yesterday. The result is one of the most jaw droppingly non-self aware, pseudo-intellectual conversations ever put to print.
Now, to be fair, there are a lot of teenagers walking the earth who think they're smarter than they are, trying to grasp complicated philosophical subjects before they can really understand them. The problem with Jaden and Willow is that, not only is no one telling them they don't know what they're talking about, they are surrounded by adults actively enabling them. This interviewer completely accepts everything they're saying like gospel. They aren't challenged once on any of the ridiculous things they say. Willow and Jaden use circular logic and platitudes to try and make grand points about nothing and the interviewer just lets them go for it. Who knows, maybe Will Smith was in the room and the interviewer was intimidated.
Anyway, check out the full article here if you dare, but here are some choice highlights.
Question: What have you been reading?
WILLOW: Quantum physics. Osho.
JADEN: “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life” and ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated.
I guess Nietzsche and Lao-Tzu were too mainstream.
Question: I’m curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it?
WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.
JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.
WILLOW: Because living.
JADEN: Right, because you have to live.
Sure Willow, time doesn't exist. Let's see if you still feel that way when you're 45 and getting your 15th botox injection.
It is true that time is relative in the Universe. For example, if you are close to a black hole the gravity of it is so powerful that time slows down (Yeah Jaden, I too have seen the TV show Cosmos). Except time is consistent everywhere on earth and for all intents and purposes anywhere Jaden or Willow Smith are going to be so it is a completely empty and pointless thing to say. Just teenager trying to sound smart. The result, tragically, is the exact opposite.
Question: How have you gotten better? (As an artist)
WILLOW: Caring less what everybody else thinks, but also caring less and less about what your own mind thinks, because what your own mind thinks, sometimes, is the thing that makes you sad.
JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.
WILLOW: And then you think about what you think, which is very dangerous.
Woof. A lot of Scientology babble here. But what the hell is the opposite of an Apple, Jaden? Now I'm completely fucking tortured.
Q: What are you searching for in those pieced-together moments? (In the creative process)
JADEN: Honestly, we’re just trying to make music that we think is cool. We don’t think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music. We don’t have any song that we like to listen to on the P.C.H. by any other artist, you know?
WILLOW: That’s what I do with novels. There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.
JADEN: Willow’s been writing her own novels since she was 6.
I bet James Joyce would be devastated to here that his work wasn't good enough for a born rich, sheltered, six-year-old. Good thing he's dead.
Q: So is the hardest education the unlearning of things?
WILLOW: Yes, basically, but the crazy thing is it doesn’t have to be like that.
JADEN: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.
WILLOW: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.
JADEN: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.
WILLOW: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.
JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.
Yes, teens that go to school are so teenagery, unlike Willow and Jaden. Also, let it be known that Jaden Smith seems to believe that there would be less road accidents if there was no driver's education. Stay in school, kids.
Q: So what’s next?
JADEN: I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet.
WILLOW: I think by the time we’re 30 or 20, we’re going to be climbing as many mountains as we can possibly climb.
When I was 15 I wanted to be a rockstar AND a famous filmmaker and I still had a sliver of conviction that it was possible. The craziest person of all-time and an Olympian sound like pretty lofty goals, but then, my dad isn't Will Smith.